Extolling Dogs
Dogs think they're pretty swell.
This piece is not for the faint of heart. It is an unabashed, unashamed tribute of glory to dogs, and to one dog in particular, my dog Falstaff. He is the doggiest dog of all and has contributed greatly to the hall of dogdom, as we shall see.
One of the first known stories of a dog is in a Native American fable. During a great storm, God (or the gods) created a large chasm to separate man from the animals. At the last minute, the dog jumped across the chasm, beneath which burned flames and hellish things, and made it to the other side to be with man. Thus began the unique relationship between man and canine, one of choice and mutual benefit.
Along the years, dogs fought in wars with us; they sailed the sea with us, sailors striving to be called “sea dogs” in their honor; they faced the plague with us; they sat on emperors’ knees (and fed emperors’ stomachs). They flushed quail and rats and fought each other for our pleasure. They chased fake bits of fur around tracks and bears up trees. They became our eyes and our ears and our rescuers.
For a long time, it seemed as if they got the short end of the stick. What nobler animal is there than one who would gladly give his life for you (especially if there’s jerky involved)? What greater clown can there be than one who will jump through hoops, weave through plastic sticks and go through a nylon tunnel (especially if there’s jerky involved)so you can win an Agility award? And what sweeter creature than who sits by your side when you’re sad, letting you stroke his silky coat (especially when there’s jerky involved)?
And I would dare anyone to pit their beloved against my Falstaff in any of the above (when there’s jerky involved). Why the other day, I feeling down and he went out of his way to
1. Lay his head on the floor, butt in the air, and fart so horrifically I was distracted from my moroseness and, indeed, had to leave the room and
2. He chased after me, with said stench, to comfort me, no concern about his tummy at all.
He also tracked something on the walk the other day and almost smashed us into a tree. But he didn’t mind, no concern for his personal safety at all.
Dogs are wonderful, magnanimous, stupendous. When all people see are the fur, the stinkiness, the chewed up shoes, the cat with his hair sticking straight up, they miss out on the real picture that history has taught us – dogs will do whatever it takes to be by our side. Especially if it involves jerky.
