The Mystery of the Missing Brussels Griffon
Kali and Kobe Are On the Case
It’s Wednesday night and we’re revving to go. Kali and I learned the “pillow trick” long ago. But, being such a clever pup, I realized that using a small stuffed animal made much more sense and luckily I was able to “doll eye” my person into buying a couple for Kali and me. We wait until our people are fast asleep then nudge Henry and Chloe (the stuffed animals) under their arms and scoot our way over to Woof Gang Bakery.
We go through a series of tunnels, which gets us there quickly and safely, because two lookers like us are always in danger of dog-napping. We pop up in the back behind the counter. I pull a blanket in front of us with my teeth and we shake the dust off. Then we go about getting the place ready for our group.
Every Wednesday night is Film Noir Movie Night, chiefly because Kali is a BIG fan of Humphery Bogart and our friend Max, the Dobie, loves to say
“What’s it to ya, bub?” and pretend like he’s chewing a toothpick. Our pal Lovely, a rather slinky Papillon, is a whiz with the store computer and can make a DVD play on it with her lovely, long fingers. Did I mention she’s lovely? Ah-hem. We get the DVD’s from Busco the Bull Dog’s dad’s collection and we’re a little nervous because we broke To Have and Have Not but his dad hasn’t noticed.
Woof Gang is ideal because we pull out the plush beds and blankets my people sell and play with the huge selection of toys. Rule is – no fur, no drool, no bite marks. I inspect everything at the end. Kali is a great thief – she nicks cookies all week, little-by-little, so no one notices the scrumptious treats are gone.
The gang streams in. Max throws a “What it’s to ya, bub” at us to get everyone in the mood. Kinky, the timid Brussels Griffon darts under Lilith, the grey Great Dane, her protecter, and the aptly named Fatty, the Saint Bernard, sits down with a hiccup. Finally Amber and Hudson, the Pit Bull twins, arrive. As we’re watching The Maltese Falcon, which is a Bogie classic, the lights are low and everyone feels a chill in the room. Bogie plays the famous Sam Spade and he’s pulled into a web of mystery by a woman who claims her sister has been kidnapped. Kali is stuffing the cookies in and I’m subtly scooching toward Lovely. As Bogie reaches for his gun and Mary Astor throws herself on his mercy, Busco lets out a great belch. Busco always has great timing.
As everyone says their goodbyes, Lilith throws me a warning look. Now Danes are known as being even tempered, but when someone a billion times your size throws you the LOOK, you react.
“No one move,” I say, walking slowly around the room, Lilith’s eyes following me. The Pit Bull twins get rigid and I realize we could have a situation here.
“Kinky’s gone,” Lilith says, in a low growl.
“Ack!” yells Lovely. “Someone’s kidnapped her!” She faints gracefully to the floor.
“Why would someone do that?” I ask. “She’s probably hiding, scared by the show.”
We yell her name and look everywhere, at a loss because all of the objects we used have been put back and she wasn’t under any of them. Lovely recuperates, has a fine show of hysterics, and faints again. Suddenly, Kali pokes my rear with her nose.
“Over there.” She motions toward Fatty.
Fatty’s fast asleep, still in front of the computer. I grab Busco and we push the mountain of a dog over. A very shaken little Kinky says, “Hello. How was the movie?”
I don’t know how long we can get away with these Wednesday night fiascos. Mostly, I wonder how long it will be before Max ruins it for us by asking his people, “What’s it to ya, bub?”
