Kali’s Au Natural Business Sense (A Humble Take on Her Role in Woofgang Bakery)
Princess Kali
(It’s Kali’s turn to share her thoughts and stories. She’s taking French and finds it sophisticated, so we’ve translated those words (and any confusing Kali lingo) accordingly. Kali is also an expert on dog fashion and social activities – she’ll share that with us later. Kobe is moping behind the counter.)
When Mama and Papa opened our wonderful bakery in Lakewood Ranch, it was the perfect fit for the area. We live in a villa (cool house) with lots for dogs to do in the area, which is, I’m sure why they chose it. You can really live the life enchante (enchanted life) here.
Of course, I’m to credit for their decision, what with my genius (forward thinking) and unsurpassable observations of our culture (knowledge of what’s hot for pets). I must admit I am often truly brillant (brilliant). Lakewood Ranch is really into this “Green Thing” (protection and preservation of natural resources, environmentally-friendly homes, taking care of the wildlife.) It’s tre chic (very stylish), no? I wondered how the inhabitants felt about the milieu naturel (natural environment) so I did what any good marketer would do: I went to the dogs.
As with most neighborhoods, there’s a canine assemblage (central dog hangout.) Kobe and I found it one day when we snuck off during the afternoon siesta. It’s around the corner and up a small hill under some trees. There’s a small sign that reads “Clebs Ne Que” (Dogs Only) and I understand they’ve had a hard time keeping the riff raff (cats) out. What struck me first was that I was overly adorned (overdressed), something I hate. Kobe, of course, fit right in because he had worn his old, frayed collar and he fits in anywhere, anyway. I asked a laid-back Beagle named Horace wearing sunglasses what he thought of this “Green” idea.
“Super cool,” he replied.
“Way out, man,” seconded a Greyhound named Big Dude wearing a tie-die bandana.
“So, NOW,” chimed in a Yorkie named Mitzy. I looked at her and realized I could really do something with her, if she’d let me upgrade her wardrobe.
“Problem is,” said a slow, relaxed Basset, “there’s no where good to get the “green” food and stuff. Ya know?”
Kobe stayed to play checkers with the Beagle and I went home to do some research. I was looking for a place that had natural and organic food combined with chic accessories and products. It seemed, afterall, that I needed to step in with at least some of the dogs and get them new physique (looks).
I found what I was looking for – Woofgang Bakeries. It seemed like a magique (magical) place. It helps to be tres belle (beautiful) and charming because I almost always get what I want. It also helps to be smart and savvy – I always thought I’d do well in P.R. Mama and Papa wondered where the print outs came from, I imagine, and didn’t know I was influencing their cognitive functions (whispering plans into their ears) at night.
Our first customer was Horace and his people and I could see right away that this was paradise for him. The hand-made treats, the organic and natural food, the environmentally-friendly choices almost overwhelmed him – he forgot himself at one point and howled. Big Dude, I’ve got to do something about that name, came next and I am happy to say he now sports a regal, plaid bandana, sure to get him into any dog club. And, Mitzy – she looks like a pet star now. Now if I can just get Kobe to throw out that old collar.
(Note from Kobe – that collar ain’t going nowhere.)
